I remember the beginning of the night. I was still sober. I steadily drank more and more as the night went on. I remember how it began. I saw you in the back yard. And i made my way over, just for a chat. To say hey, hows your night going. Then i found my arm around your waist and you just smiled at me. We talked for a bit then i left your side. We found each other once again…in a house with no one around. You caught my eye and we talked a little more. .. Moments later i found myself kissing you. This was strange. You let it continue. Soon we were on the couch, but then we managed to find realization of the situation. Calling it off. We parted ways. And by this time. I was completely drunk. Becoming sassy, and confident. Every time we met in passing, i gave you a look. Like you know… Then this is where my memory begin to fade in and out. I recall you cooking bacon. Then you taking me to a room. Getting weed then leaving. Not long after we were making our way up stairs together. Yes… Together. Someone we knew was in your room. She Made a cheeky comment and then left. There we were alone. We both knew what was coming next. My hands met your waist once more, and my lips met yours again. I flash in and out of the next events. But what i do know is that our clothes now belonged to the floor. I remember your body, the feel of it. And Your nipple rings blew my mind. I recall doing things to you. But not you doing things for me. Then all of a sudden i am waking up to you next to me, naked, in your bed.
I needed to write this down. Hopefully it will stop replaying in my head.
I burn like 2000 calories everytime i put my bed sheets on by myself
You don’t get to
I loved you too hard
and you let me fall too far.
I thought I could find strength
in your eyes for me.
I thought you only had eyes for me.
But I learned that the only I’s
that came to matter
were those that are capitalized.
A letter of selfishness,